Dear Reader
There is one month to go until the London Marathon.
“And?” my husband replied when I told him. “What does that mean?” Trust him to keep it real, ha! It doesn’t mean anything, really. Other than it being a month to go until I run through the streets of London 13 months after giving birth via unexpected C-section — accompanied by all the added feelings I have around what I can do in this rearranged body of mine and re-adjusted expectations of what I’d like achieve versus what I would realistically be happy with.
When I set out to do this race in 2020, before it was cancelled due to the pandemic, I wanted to run my fastest time ever, so I could guarantee an entry into the Tokyo Marathon and complete the Big 6 of the World Marathon Majors (New York, Boston, Chicago, Berlin, London, Tokyo). Now, I’d just like to finish in a time that respects the path I’ve been on over these past 12 months and celebrates this past year.
And what a year it’s been! This weekend, baby Zoe-Rose turns one year old. That’s 12 months of keeping her alive — of nursing her, rocking her, changing her nappy/diaper (have never talked about poop more!), carrying her, pushing her, making up songs to sing her, watching her grow each day and change in both the most minute and momentous of ways. I have been so in awe of watching a little human being grow and experience life — to see her figure out how to lift herself up or clap with joy at switching on a light. It also has filled me with many more emotions than I ever had before, and so many fears about keeping her safe that I constantly have to keep in check.
I think the biggest thing I have learnt over this time is to acknowledge my worries and then tell them to take a seat in the back. They can’t drive this car, so to speak, otherwise we’d never go anywhere — truly! But I can’t ignore them either, and so recognizing them when they appear, and essentially, trying to soothe myself as I would soothe Zoe-Rose, is part of the approach that’s helped me so far. That, and semi-regular therapy sessions.
My due date was March 25th, and if she had been born on that day, and not the next one, she would have shared it with the late, great Aretha Franklin. In honour of the iconic singer, who would have been 81 this year, I’d like to share this episode of The Rundown that I made in the wake of her death in August 2018. What a titan we lost.
Oh, and if you were wondering whether I made it out the door in time for last weekend’s half marathon, and don’t have social media so didn’t see my red-faced but jubilant face on Instagram (maybe there are more of you than just my pal Leash!), yes, I did, indeed, make it out and to the start line on time. All it took was a 4:30am feeding and an extra cup of coffee!
Thank you for reading.
Your neighbour
Nadia
So proud of you Nads!!! Go get 'em!